THIS JUST IN: BAMP PROJECT PRESENTS MORRISSEY LIVE ON MAUI AND OAHU

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>>> Tickets go on sale this Fri., Mar. 9 at 9am. If you quit eating and smiling between now and then, you’ll be sufficiently emaciated and depressed enough to attend the show (Morrissey’s first in 20 years–see the BAMP press release below). Meanwhile, here’s all you need to know:

MAUI SHOW – Fri., May 18, 7pm doors / 7:30pm show, A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org; $49.50 / $59.50 / $69.50 plus applicable fees

OAHU SHOW – Sat., May 19, 7pm doors/ 8pm show, Kaka’ako Waterfront Park Amphitheater (Kaliko Dr., Wahiawa); groovetickets.com / bampproject.com; first 250 general admission tickets are $39.50 / after that, advance general admission tickets are $45 / $99.50 VIP (21+ only), plus applicable fees

>>> Addendum: It occurred to me that my dry attempt at humor and lack of poetic paraffin (I know I’m misinterpreting that phrase for the sake of alliteration, but bear with me) may not make clear the fact that I’m stoked Morrissey’s coming to Maui. If you feel the same, I like you even better now. But hell, if you do feel the same, you don’t need me to tell you about Morrissey! You don’t need me to tell you that “Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want” still makes me weep for Duckie (even more than Jon Cryer is for forever playing second fiddle sidekick, first to a coked-up Charlie Sheen then to that pretty idiot from Punk’d). You don’t need me to tell you that oft when eating meat I hear a song in my head that reminds me I’m accessory to murder… You’ve got your own (and very likely better) stories. So, like I said before, what matters is the Ws above. Parting words: I look forward to flopping around all hipsterish with you and talking about how fuckin’ awesomely nostalgic it all is. See you there.

Here’s this morning’s press release from our pals at BAMP:

HONOLULU, HI – (Monday, March 5, 2012) – BAMP Project, Hawaii’s premier concert production company, is proud to present one of the most influential figures in alternative rock, Morrissey, live in concert 20 years after his first Hawaii performance.  The former lead singer of The Smiths and one of the most influential icons of all time will perform May 18 on Maui and May 19 on Oahu with tickets on sale Friday, March 9 at 9:00 a.m.

Since launching his solo career in 1987, Morrissey has released nine studio albums, sold out concerts in minutes and sold millions of records worldwide. His first two solo singles, “Suedehead” and the gorgeous “Everyday Is Like Sunday,” were significant global hits in 1988 and his first album, Viva Hate (its title a reference to the Smiths’ breakup), was commercially and critically well-received.  He released several more high-quality singles, including “The Last of the International Playboys” and “Interesting Drug.”

His 1992 album Your Arsenal easily ranked as the hardest-rocking of his career, or at least, that was overshadowed in England; over in the U.S., tickets for his upcoming tour were selling like hotcakes and he managed to sell out L.A.’s Hollywood Bowl even faster than the Beatles had.  His American success helped Morrissey deliver an equally strong fourth album 1994′s calmer Vauxhall and I, which even got him his first Top 50 singles-chart entry in the U.S. with the MTV-supported “The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get.”  His ninth studio album, Years Of Refusal, released in 2009 saw Morrissey tie his highest U.S. chart debut on the Billboard 200.

Listed as one of the most important musicians in the last three decades, Morrissey made a significant impact on music creating a trail for dozens of modern day alternative rock acts like Radiohead, The Killers and Jeff Buckley all claiming to have been influenced by Morrissey’s music and songwriting.

Text the world “CONCERTS” to 38714 for free Hawaii Concert info.

“In my opinion, Morrissey disembodies every horrible trait that a human can possible possess.”

“The views of the most vocal vegetarian in pop music are typically uncompromising…”

THREE CHEERS FOR PINK MARTINI

FRI., FEB. 17 – Portland’s Pink Martini is one of the few ensembles on Earth that can sculpt music into something that’s visceral yet palatial, rooted yet transmuted. And MauiTime’s own Ynez Tongson is one of the few writers on-isle who uses language in a way that’s supremely lithe and sparklingly on-point. So, we’re going to leave it to Tongson to describe Pink Martini (as she did the last time the 12-piece was on Maui, in March 2010): “If you’ve never had the joy of being intoxicated by Pink Martini, imagine how pop would sound if it met a time traveler and a linguist–and later, all three of them decided to go out for drinks. Do that, and you’ve got a pretty good idea of what it’s like to listen to [their] music that’s globally, historically and emotionally diverse. One moment you’re a signorina, shyly declaring your love in an Italian cafe, and the next you’re an unshaven hombre in Spain, laying in the gutter, clutching an empty bottle of red wine, trying to light your cigarillo. Whatever mood you’re in—happy, lovestruck, hopeful, cynical, sad, annoyed—Pink Martini’s got something you could toast to.” (PS: Arrive early for the pre-show dinner made available by Makawao Rodeo General Store, and stay late for the after-glow party in the Yokouchi Pavilion with music by Gene and Shea Argel.) $35 / $45 / $65. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

RASTA THOMAS’ BAD BOYS OF DANCE

THU., FEB. 16 – The Bad Boys of Dance is “a fresh, new dance company comprised of the most talented and versatile young male dancers in the world today… each hand selected [for] his extraordinary physical abilities and artistry.” The company’s founder Rasta Thomas says he started the group “to show the world what great male dancing looks like and to make dancing fun, entertaining and accessible to a whole new generation,” and describes his company men as “the dancers of tomorrow… hot, young and fresh to death… ‘hybrids’ that can do it all–from ballet to hip hop–[with] an unparalleled ability to morph from one style to another and are entertaining and exciting to watch.” $12 / $30 / $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / rastathomas.com

TONIGHT: The Airborne Toxic Event at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center

FRI., JAN. 20 – Sorry hippies, this isn’t an event about Chemtrails–it’s a concert by the Los Angeles-based hipster band acronymically known as TATE (named after section two of Don DeLillo’s book White Noise). “I’m trying to get down an emotion, a scene or a setting,” says frontman Mikel Jollett, of songwriting (in the band’s online “biography of sorts”). “Everything important that happens after that happens between the music and the listener; the rest of it is all mythology. The collective interpretation of it is way more important than what I think.” $23.50 / $28.50 / $55.50. 8pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

SHERYL COOPER’S 3RD ANNUAL HOLIDAY MASTER DANCE CLASS (FOR CHARITY!)

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THU., DEC. 29 – Learn sweet steps from Sheryl Cooper at these charitable dance classes. And, yes. We mean Sheryl Cooper as in Alice Cooper’s wifey of 35 years. She’s danced in videos for her hubby, Aerosmith, The Bee Gees and Peter Frampton, and studied with some of the dance community’s most notable, like Ruth Page, Robert Joffrey, Joe Tremaine, Glen Tetley and Michael Kidd. Plus, her professional credits include California’s Pasadena Dance Theater and Chicago’s Hubbard Street Dance Company, as well as work with the likes of Goldie Hawn, Steve Martin, George C. Scott and the late great Jackie Gleason. Three classes beginning at 6pm. $15 each class / $30 all three classes. Proceeds benefit the Alice Cooper Solid Rock Foundation. Omori Studio A, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); RSVP by calling 280-0047; alicecoopersolidrock.com

Grammy winners Tia Carrere and Daniel Ho headline George Kahumoku Jr.’s Slack Key Masters series

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SLACK KEY TIME! EXCELLENT! – Thu., Dec. 15. Cooler-than-cool Uncle George Kahumoku Jr. hosts his signature show, opening with his stellar musical and storytelling talents. This month showcases Grammy Award-winning artists Daniel Ho and singer n’ actress Tia Carrere (of Wayne’s World and True Lies fame). $25 standard / $45 VIP with artist talk-story session. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / slackkey.com

WAIT! THERE’S MORE! – Fri. Dec. 16 – George Kahumoku Jr. and Daniel ho lead a special (and free!) slack key guitar workshop (4-5pm, Makana Activities Center) and performance (7:30-9:30pm, Ka’uiki Restaurant). Free. Travaasa Hana (f.k.a. Hotel Hana Maui); 248-8211; travaasa.com / slackkey.com

BIG SHOW UPDATE:

LET THEM EAT CAKE  (just not this month)

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We know. You love Cake like a fat kid loves, well, cake. Us, too. So if you’re crumb-bummed that the Cake concert’s been postponed (originally scheduled for Sun. Oct. 23), just think of it like magic prolonged.

The new date is Sat., Feb. 25–same time, same place and same price (i.e. 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; $39/$49/$89 + applicable fees).

If you’ve already got your tickets, BAMP Project and the MACC have two options for you:

1) If you CAN’T make it to the show on Feb. 25., you can get a refund.

2) If you CAN make it to the show on Feb. 25, you can simply keep your seats. However, if you’ve already claimed your tickets, you must exchange them for new ones at the MACC’s box office.

Either way, you need to work it out with the MACC prior to Nov. 1, by calling 808-242-7469 (SHOW) or visiting them during their regular business hours, Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm. And of course, that’s the 411 for getting tickets if you still need them to begin with. Or, you can click here to buy tickets.

PS: And because we love you, too, we think you should listen to NPR’s All Things Considered March 2011 piece on Cake. http://www.npr.org/2011/03/03/134233768/cake-tk

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THIS WEEK’S PICKS:

HULA COUP

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SAT., OCT. 15 – Kulanihako’i: Living Waters, a new hula drama which draws on millennia-old Hawaiian myths–namely the elemental lake, Kulanihako’i, from which all life flows. Experience dance, chant and storytelling–as interpreted through a contemporary Native Hawaiian lens–by Na Kinimakalehua, an artistic team comprised of master kumu hula Hokulani Holt, Keali’i Reichel and Pali Ahue, along with Ulalia Woodside, Kauhilonohonua Padilla and Robert Ke’ano Ka’upu. Pre-show dinner by Alexander’s Famous Fish. $12 / $32 / $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

THIS WEEK’S PICKS:

A HALT JAM

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FRI., OCT. 14 – Legendary blues man Taj Mahal gigs at the Castle Theater, alongside longtime comrades The Hula Blues Band (which formed in 1981 when Taj Mahal moved to Kaua’i). Sourcing from reggae, calypso, jazz, zydeco, gospel and West African folk, his ethnomusicology studies lead to pioneering his nonpareil world music-infused style of blues. A Lazar Bear Production. Pre-show dinner by Makawao Rodeo General Store. $40 / $50 / $60. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

This Week’s Picks: Blow By Blow

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FRIDAY OCT. 7 – Acclaimed trumpeter and composer Terence Blanchard–who’s heralded as being “central to the resurgence of jazz composition in film”–performs live at the MACC. Blanchard’s scored nearly 50 films, including every Spike Lee movie since 1991′s Jungle Fever, and for more than a decade he’s served as artistic director of the Thelonious Monk Institute of Jazz. As you can imagine, the accolades go on (stuff like a handful of Grammys and even more nods from NARA, Emmys and Golden Globes). Go early to indulge in a pre-show dinner by Three’s Bar & Grill. $35 advance / $40 day-of. 7:30pm. Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org