Maui Health Explosion!

Saturday (July 17), 10am-4pm, Maui Mall, Kahului, Free

This event could easily have been billed as an “expo”—but “explosion,” is much cooler. Too, it’s indicative of the vibe that need be generated in celebrating and creating a healthy community. Center stage performances and demos stack up like this: Halau Hula O Keola Ali’iokekai (10am), Ka’alele Lomi Lomi Movement Meditation (11am), Energy 35 (12pm), The Union Yoga Movement (12:30pm), Art of Flamingo Dance (1pm), Healthy Cooking Demonstration (2pm), Aloha Ballroom Dancing (2:30pm), and Zumba (3:15pm)… And what’s healthier than a little suspension of disbelief? Check out Showtimes on page 19, and catch a flick while you’re near the Megaplex… But if you require a one last hurrah before embarking on new healthy resolutions, check out Timba the night before (Friday, July 16) for their “X-mas in July” shindig. Everyone’s encouraged to dress up in their best red and green threads, for a “bigger-than-NYE” party that’s sure to be full of spark (9pm-2am, $10 cover). mauimall.com / timbamaui.com, 808-661-9873

Turns out, Mulligan’s on the Blue (874-1131) is as trapped in October as I am. For their New Year’s party, they’re featuring their All Hallows Eve music line-up (Kulture Klash 808, Fish Tank and Off Tomorrow) and they’re hosting a costume party. There’ll be $500 in prizes (put those creative juices to work, they’re seeking creatively themed threads), and whether you opt for the dinner package with complimentary champagne toast ($60, call for reservations) or for the gigs alone ($10 advance/$15 door), you score a killer view of the Wailea aerials.

On the topic of tenuous timelines, you know who else had their calendars all screwy? Everyone, from 47 BC until 1582. It wasn’t until the end of the 16th century—and the centuries following Pope Gregory XIII’s reformation of the Julian calendar—that many world countries adopted the Gregorian version and began to embrace January 1 as the day that “we’ll take a right guid-willie waught, for auld lang syne.” Uh, OK. Whatever that means. Oh c’mon. Nobody really knows the lyrics to that song we pretend to sing but once a year.

Besides, you ought to be too busy smooching (COSMOS says “kissing is good for the species) … or drinking… or at the very least, blowing those annoying paper noisemakers that fall limp with too much drunken spit. If you want some Willie songs (of the “Georgia On My Mind” variety) that you can really sing along to, I’ll remind you of last week’s Pick to check out Charley’s ($75, 579-8085).

Also last week, I encouraged every Bad Santa to head over to Casanova (572-0220) for the Kit Kat Club’s Christmas Cabaret. Whether avoiding Claus’s naughty list or your girlfriend’s s#%t list, I’m guessing a few of you might have stayed home. But New Year’s is a holiday of second chances, and the Kit Cat Club cuties are giving you just that with their New Year’s Eve Party—replete with bubbly and a soiree of DJs, gogo dancers and sideshow acts hot enough to light fireworks.

What else should be hot? Your fingers—lighting up the phone to call Timba ($25, 661-9873) and secure your New Year’s Eve reservations. The Hard Rock Café (667-7400) will feature DJ Chuck for just $7—with a portion of the proceeds going to World Hunger—and they too boast a gratis toast. And if you need as many options as Tiger’s got mistresses (talk about a roundup), Next Level takes over the Kahului Ale House while All Access Entertainment is busy putting on the party at Diamonds Ice Bar (874-9299), Oceans Bar & Grill (891-2414), and Lulu’s Lahaina (661-0808).